They are vulnerable simply because they are girls ! That is the feeling Indian young women genuinely hold since they are surrounded by a society which invariably tries to put a lid on every misadventure its men folk commit. This is done in the name of saving the family honour. The blame is put on the situation rather than on the evil -doer who must be instantly booked for a listed crime.
Usually, the menfolk who misuse possible proximity to a girl or woman are people in whom utmost undeserved trust is reposed because they happen to be either cousins or uncles or family friends of one description or the other. The hush-hush approach to any violation committed by such an unscrupulous man serves to encourage him to go on misusing the situation.
Indian parents, especially mothers, fail to educate their daughters about the peculiarities of the female body. The growing up girls are not made aware of the possible bad overtures of the men around them in their daily lives. They have no idea of what a good touch or a bad touch means.
The exploiter often happens to be a man who has enjoyed a pampered position in family relationships. He may be the son of a maternal or paternal aunt. He may be a maternal or paternal uncle or sometimes a servant of long-standing who is seldom doubted at all. When the first bad overture is ignored, it becomes the threshold for a more inundating experience, finally leading to the first forbidden ravage of the sanctity of a woman’s person.
Surely, it is psychologically decimating for the girls. They are brought up in a society where they are forbidden to reveal the trauma. Very often, they are under threat from the wrong-doer. They become victims of blackmailing and are forced to submit for fear of being disgraced publicly. In most cases , even mothers fail their daughters when they advise the girls to keep mum about it lest the family should earn public disgrace. Very often , the festering fact is not allowed to reach either the brother’s or the father’s ears lest it should lead to bloodshed.
In such a situation , the culprit stays protected by the reticence of the girl and her family. Such men are predators on the prowl and when nobody ventures to confront them , their exploits go on unhampered and unquestioned. It is the system that fails the exploited lady , because primarily it does not educate her in advance and then , after the event it advises her to push it under the carpet. She suffers and suffers because she feels that it is inherent in her societal situation. Yet , to borrow from Julius Caesar , we could say : “The fault …….is not in our stars, /But in ourselves…….”
(The writer is a retd. Principal, Govt. College, Hoshiarpur)